The Halloween Play

Today Monkey “wrote” a Halloween play and performed it in his puppet theatre.  He made the puppet theatre with his blanket and the chairs in teh family room, the puppets were made by Teddy at school yesterday.  Monkey could not remember the lines so he asked me to write them out for him so he can read them, even though I know he cannot actually read all the words, it is good practice anyway.

The Play;

Pumpkin: HIYA, I am HIYA pumpkin and I am going to HIYA all over the world

Ghost: I am going to scare everyone in the world

Actor: (does a dance) Oh I love Canada, it is green and nice and I love to dance (in a sing song voice)

Fairy Godmother: Spell Spell on everyone I am going to make you beautiful

Witch: I smell and I am nasty and bad for the whole wide world

BOO HAPPY HALLOWEEN…THE END

And then he puts one arm across his chest, holds the other out to the side and bows while his brother and sister clap and say AGAIN AGAIN!

I love it and think it is the cutest thing ever.  What do your kids do that you thing is cute and makes you feel so proud of them?

Headache

I have a headache.  It is in the form of a 59 year old woman..my mother in law.

I am currently at my witts end.  I know I have posted my frustrations about her before, but today I am just in a place where that is all that is on my mind.  We had an argument this morning over all things the dishwasher, yes seriously the dishwasher.

Here is the conclusion I have come to, 2 women are never meant to share one kitchen.  It is like asking for one to become totally frustrated with the other.  2 women from completely different background and cultures, are double doomed if they attempt to share one kitchen.

My main issue with the MIL while it sounds like silly petty griping over dishwashers and pots and pans and moving mittens is none of that stuff.  What is, is that she doesn’t listen to anybody other than herself.  She doesn’t think before she acts, she has zero courtesy and she is manipulative coupled with crazy.  AHHH that felt good to “say out loud”.  Now if only I could think of how to say that to her in a nice pleasant way so as I don’t come across a bad person.

Here is the issue, MILs and daughter in laws I believe are set up with eternal failure.  From the get go it is almost impossible for them to get along.  Sometimes, when the MIL lives across an ocean or in some parallel universe where she understands her son is grown and she needs to butt the F ou of his life, sometimes in these rare cases and MIL and daughter in law can get along.  SOMETIMES.  However when those 2 people live in the same house, have totally different values and poor communication, it is not only set for failure, it is set for disaster.

I need to move…WE need to move.  If my family does not soon get out of this vortex that is my MILs manipulative grip it will implode and I don’t want to be around for that.  Life is full of hard decisions and sometimes we just have to grab the bull by the horns and make them!

Life

So sometimes life just catches up to me.  In my head I would like to update or write a blog post daily.  I never seem to have time for that, so I try for 3 times per week…on the days I work because lets face it if we are honest I have more downtime at my desk than I ever have a hope in hell of having at home.  However even at work I tend to be busy, so I just don’t find the time to write.  I currently have about 6 posts in draft mode, but to me they seem like good posts or posts I want to detail well so I dont’ want to just rush them and finish them off!  One day I will fill you readers in by finishing all my posts.

So I thought I would just write a post about life.  I feel that life for us has really changed since school started.  For the first time ever Teddy and Monkey are at separate schools…thank god it is only going to be for one year.  I have changed my hours to accomodate their schools, so my day used to look like wake up 6 am, head off to work by 7, well now I get up around 7 rush through the morning routine, take Monkey to bus stop, take Teddy to school.  Arrive at work 10 mins late daily.  This is frustrating me since I am a person who is NEVER late.  So this lateness is flustering my whole day.  I used to arrive at work 40 mins or so early so that I had time to just gear up for the day, drink my tea, eat my breakfast in peace, read my blogs and yes often write a post on my own blog.  Now all that time is lost.

The change of life.  So basically I have changed from having a peaceful ordered work day to chaos.  I loved starting early because I would be in teh office for 1.5 hrs before any of my co-workers showed up.  This allowed me to have my brief “me time” and then get into my work.  Into the real nitty gritty thinking issues and just go through them with silence in the office, my phone not ringing etc.  Well now when I come in the office is in full swing, everybody is here and has been for about an hour, they are chit chatting doing work etc.  The phones are ringing, emails are coming in and there is just no time to get centred.  Then to top it all off, I have to leave after 2.5 hrs to pick Teddy up and take him home as preschool only runs until lunch.  So I rush back get in and try and get into work but without having that centre in my morning the whole day is off.  To top it all off I am now working later, well at 4 pm my brain just crashes and I seem to not be productive in the least for that last hr.  Then I get home and by the time I get organized for dinner it is already 6 pm, I haven’t started cooking.  I just feel flustered!

So how do I solve this?  I dont’ know, come on readers give me help and suggestions.  Am I just to self centered that I NEED that time in the morning?  I don’t know what it is.  Life at home with 3 kids under 5 is hectic to say the least.  I believe in making things the most for my kids, so we are constantly busy.  We are always going places and doing things.  I like the kids to learn so we plan trips to farms and museums etc.  I never say no to birthday parties etc because I want to enjoy the time with them while they are small.  So we are always busy and on the go.  I feel like sometimes we never stop.  So three days per week I come to work I get to relax to start my day and then get into my stuff.  It is like that little time gets me in the zone that I need to be.  I think I need that time to get out of mommy mode and into working lady mode.  Is this too much to ask?  Should I just be able to jump from one role to the next?  Also I dont’ know what to do about this mixture of roles.  I used to be two totally separate people, on the days I worked that was my total focus and on the says I was off home was my total focus.  While now my home life has crept into my work life and I am doing home activities on work days, so how do I find that work life balance?  And mostly is it too much to ask that I want that balance?

Slowly Going Crazy

Yes that is right, I am slowlly going crazy.  I am hoping to god it is a phase, an age thing, a transition due to school etc.  At the moment my children have turned into heathens, complete and total devils.   Perhaps they are getting ready for Halloween??  I dont’ know but I am slowly going crazy, if it doesn’t stop I might be insane before Monday.  I actually came into work 2 hours early today to escape the house, before I lose my ever loving mind!

So here is the thing, school has totally effed up my life.  I now start work at 9 instead of 7, which means I now don’t get home until 5:30, 5:45 if I have to stop at the store because am short of an ingredient I need for dinner.  It also means that I am home with the kids in the morning.  So my routine has gone from get up and sneak out before they wake up, to get up shower get back in my pjs and back in bed until they wake up.  Then go downstairs and pack lunches/make breakfast while acting as referee for their fighting and acting as gate keeper to the front door so they dont’ run out and head to the bus stop by themselves. 

For those of you that dont’ know me well, I am not a morning person.  I know getting up and starting work at 7 would appear to be a morning person, but quite the contrary.  The reason I love starting work at 7 and always have started at 7 since I completed uni is because I love having that time in the office, generally at least 1 hr up to 2 hrs of time where no one else is in and the phone doesn’t ring and I have total and complete silence to work without being disturbed.  I love starting at 7 because starting at 7 means the only person I have to look at or talk to for the first 2 hrs of my day is the one at the Tims drive thru handing me my large tea.

So now here I stand child referee and gate keeper to the home.  I am frustrated and yelling and tired of breaking up fights.  I am happy that they are excited for school but now having to remember to put the safety lock on the front door so I dont’ find them headed off to the bus, backpack in hand and pjs on one more time this month.

I keep telling myself it is just a phase.  I know I will never suddenly turn into Mary sunshine in the mornings, but please god let my children stop behaving like heathens.  I know they are a bit bored at home, want to see their friends and get out the door.  I also think they are fighting more because they have more freedom from each other these days.

Once again I started this post and ran out of time to finish.  I came to the conclusion that I had to come up with a plan to keep them better occupied in the mornings.  So I decided on homework books.  I bought each 3 pencils from the dollar store along with a note book each.  I brought up their little portable colouring desks from the basement.  I explained that they had to work or draw in these books every morning and that they had to clean up all their pens etc at the end before leaving for school.  I also explained that good behaviour would earn them more pens, crayons and maybe even markers.  You know what?  It worked!  Yep I bribed my children and it worked and I am proud to admit it!  The mornings this week have been a breeze, I haven’t been grumpy and they havent’ been yelled at.  Teddy and Princess have been drawing me lots of pictures and Monkey is getting lots of practice on writing his numbers and letters.  Celebrate the successes, no matter what it takes you to get there!

Then yesterday I took Monkey to school instead of sending him on the bus.  He had his fundraising money, his milk money and a scholastic book order.  No way was I trusting a 4 yr ol on the bus with money in his backpack…because you know 4 yr olds, they would be telling everybody how much money was in their bag etc.  Teddy and I dropped him at school and then I drove Teddy to school to go about our normal routine.  We arrived at school quite early so the boys had lots of time to play.  I was amazed at how good Monkey is at the school routine, I made him show us where to go and what he does.  He ran to his door, placed his bag on the line for his team and then ran to the playground to play.  I picked up the back not wanting to leave it unattended and found a spot on the playground, where I could sit back and observe Monkey who goes through this routine everyday and be close enough to keep a close eye on Teddy around the bigger kids. 

What I witnessed was shocking.  For the most part the girls don’t play on the playground, only the boys.  And they are ROUGH.  They kick, push and throw sand.  I was shocked.  Teddy was shocked, pushed off the playground more than once, he got up and tried again and agaiin.  I noticed Monkey, he plays, holds his own, watches where the rough kids are and hangs back, pushes his way in when need be…but luckily did not retaliate to any of the other boys, it appears he has just learned how to avoid their pushes and shoves.  However this all made me wonder…is this the reason for the increase in fighting and rough housing at home?  He has seen this at school and even though he hangs back and avoids much of it, he has learned to get what he wants ie a turn on the slide, he needs to be a little pushy.  I am now sure that this is why the increase in fighting at home.  Anyway thankfully I have found a way to control it at home.  I am a little shocked that the teachers don’t give better attn/supervision to the kindergarten play area in the mornings.  The school ground is a harsh place indeed.

Pheromones?

So we have all heard of pheromones.  Well apparently there have been lack of studies of the actual presence of pheromones and their affect on humans.   Well I have come up with my own informal study from watching my daughter.  They say there are different types of pheromones projected…alarm pheromones to watrn others of danger, trail pheromones, territorial pheromones, sex pheromones and information pheromones.

Well that is your official list, I have noticed that we has humans/parents must emit either freedom pheromones os, guilt pheromones or excitement pheromones.  I have been watching my little princess closely over the last few weeks.  Why is it she always knows when something is coming, it is like she can sencese what is going on without being told and it hit me at 2 am when she was crying in the bathroom that I think she is picking up pheromones.

Yes ok call this the crazy mind wanderings of a sleep deprived mother, but still once I explain the entire theory, I am sure you will find it to be a good one.

You see when I initially started writing this post, my in laws were about to go away for a few days.  My mother in law is a stress ball at the best of times, so I am sure you can imagine she was totally emitting phermones about going away, probably if I know her, stress, stress about leaving the kids, stress about the drive, stress about looking good where they were going, stress about not spending money on the drive so packing every possible drink and snack they may want to eat and probably a smidge of excitement about actually leaving the house for a change.

Well in the 3 days leading up to the trip the Princess was always crying for grandma, wanted grandma to get her drinks etc.

Also I notice I can’t do anything.  Doesn’t matter how good she is playing, if I go to leave for work, go out with a friend, run an errand sans monkey helpers she knows…the minute I attempt to leave, she is up no longer playing, no longer happy and crying for me…hmmm excitement, freedom phermones coming from me?

Don’t you ever notice how whenever you plan to do something, be somewhere the kids know?  Sometimes I feel like I dont’ even have to tell them I am going out, etc because they just sense it.  They are so in tune to what is going on with us…ok well either that or my kids have those eyes in the back of their head that Lilith on Fraser had!

The End of An Era

So Monkey has officially started school.  He is no longer a baby, he is an independant 4.5 yr old expected to get on the bus, get off, get himself to class, line up when the bell rings and learn all day.  I have been literally a basket case for days.  I just keep thinking of the sweet cuddly newborn who I held in my arms and adored the minute he was born.

I remember the first days with monkey, the stress of the early breastfeeding, the feeling of success when we finally found our groove.  How I used to love just letting him sleep on my chest and rocking him in our nursing chair.  Giving him his bath and just sitting combing his sweet little hair.

Then he started to grow and he was happy and sweet, a pure joy.  He adjusted well to being a big brother and loved his brother so much.  Then he started talking and telling stories and entertaining us with his memory, his insight and his wit (yes I think a child can have wit and believe me he does).  He was easy to potty train and just a total joy.  I have often looked at him and just felt love swell in me, my boy my sweet sweet boy.

When he started preschool I was nervous, but he did great and he had the most caring and relaxed teachers. 

JK was big because I would no longer be driving him, he would be going on the bus.  Also JK changes things, they make friends and build lives and have other adults being major influences in their lives.  I remember my teachers, I remember which ones made me dream and think about the future, the ones who literally shaped my life to be the way it is today.  And I also remember the one who was mean and made me afraid to go to school.  The one who told me I was stupid and her dog was smarter than I was.  I know teachers have influence on our lives, more than some of us would like to admit.

I know that now I have to trust him, trust that he can get off the bus, follow the other kids and go where he is supposed to when the bell rings.  I have to trust that he will make the right friends and the right choices and learn from the wrong ones.  I have to know that his heart will be broken and a piece of mine along with it everytime, but that he will find his groove and make it through.  I have to believe he will find his own dreams and follow them, I have to hope he will be a leader and not a follower.

It is the end of an era for me.  The end of the time where I am the most important and most influential person in his life.  Good luck Monkey, I love you.  You are going to be a successful little boy, I can see it already.!

And the Changes Begin!

So tomorrow Monkey starts school.  Well I don’t know how much you can call going in for an interview with his JK teacher starting school, but it will be his first experience associated with “real” school, so I am saying tomorrow he starts school.

Already I look at him and he looks older, more grown up.  One thing for sure over this summer he has had a growth spurt in height which has cleaned his formarly chubby cheeks out of the baby fat and he now looks like a boy not a toddler. 

He understands that with school comes responsibility, to behave on the bus and listen to his teacher at school.  He knows that he will be learning and experiencing things.  He knows that at the end of the day a recap of what he has learned will be gone over with me and he knows that it means him and his brother are on different levels for the next yr, his brother still at home with mama, and him off to the big boy school.  I know he will work on showing his brother everything his is learning at school.

He is a bit nervous about riding the school bus, as I am also nervous about it.  He is looking forward to making friends and meeting his teacher.

I note that he has started putting his plate in the dishwasher after eating, he is asking to be assigned chores and he is really relishing the big brother role at the moment.  He is eager to teach and explain things to his brother and sister and eager to be their helper.

He is a caring boy with a quick mind and a big heart.  I hope he does well with the other kids at school and that they are kind to him.  I hope he doesn’t pick up awful things from other kids, and that somwhere deep down inside he remains my baby for life.

I am going to be a bawling mess tomorrow and probably off and on over this crazy graduated entry into JK, why do they need to mess with our minds like this??  Good luck Monkey I love you!  And can’t wait to see where this new phase in life takes you.

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